My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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