I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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