Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
