look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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