we're blogging at a bar
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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