Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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