Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i drank out of a bidet.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
