She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
