I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
