Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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