she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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