you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
