do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
