is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
