I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
