I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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