umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
