The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
