I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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