put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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