I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
