It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
