my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
