I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
