just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
