The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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