she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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