Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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