I love having hate sex.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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