Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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