yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
