That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize