Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
