I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
