oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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