bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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