so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
