Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
