theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
They took my balls.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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