i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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