that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
