dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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