My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize