When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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