I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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