idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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