There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
