Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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