No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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