oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
