I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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