dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
