I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
