where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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