Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
