I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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