yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
