OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
