One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
