Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
