This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ladies don't puke and tell
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
