Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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