he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
