I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
