I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
