Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
