It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
