he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Congratulations! We have a period
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
