Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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