so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
