cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Acid is not a monday night drug
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
