Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
