I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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