1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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