Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
