someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
