Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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